|
|
|
Sunday, June 30, 2002
[ start the ass kicking ]
"Hi, my name is kp. And I have ignored my friend cgm at his place of work and never go out anymore and that makes both cgm and baby Jesus cry."
[ end with another ass kicking ]
Speaking of work, do I have a tale of woe from the P. The other night a man comes in and sits at the bar and asks if we have MGD. I say, "Sure. I have it in bottles."
"Not on tap?" he asks bewilderly. I reply that we don't and then add, "Budlight is my only domestic on tap." He then proceeds to ask for Miller on tap. "Again, sir, my only domestic on tap is Budlight."
"How about Miller Lite on tap?" he asks. How about a swift kick in the ass moron. "How about a Budlight?" is my reply. Which he finally takes. Then another man walks in and I have to do a double take. For you see, he was wearing gray sweatpants (regardless of the fact that it was 80 degrees out) and had a huge wet spot right in the front. Well, I proceed to make fun of the idiot endlessly. I think I have the right. Once you lose control of your bodily functions in that way, you are fair game (and no, I won't mention any other names here). So Pee-Boy leaves and the man who couldn't order a beer calls me over and says, "Do you think it's ok to make fun of stupid people?" I reply that I don't think he's stupid, just drunk. And that I can make fun of stupid people because that's my job. "You see, I don't make fun of stupid people, just the drunks, so don't worry. I won't make fun of you." Well, some time passes and calls me over again and tries to tell me again that I shouldn't make fun of stupid people, and that Pee-Boy was indeed stupid and not drunk. Well, as I was walking away from him and his empty glass I said that I understood where he was coming from and that the man may have been "special" but I think he was too loaded to know. Idiot.
We have two rooms of the house done. Quite a few more to go. But American called (actually Jack the furniture manager called, the store itself could not actually call me) and they are taking a hundred dollars off the purchase price of our entertainment center. See what a strongly worded letter will get you? I don't get the furniture any earlier, but what the hell.
For those of you who don't know, I am blond again. And thanks for not making jokes about it to my face.
Went to two weddings yesterday. They were very nice, though a bit warm. I danced a lot at one of the receptions. Nothing broken. So far the summer is off to a healthy start.
We have a driveway now. In a few more days we should be able to drive on it. Baby steps. The killdeer that had made a nest among the rebar did not fare so well. C and I had to move the eggs to try and prevent the bad animal karma of having their little chick skeletons in our driveway. So she ran around like a wounded wild animal making the mom and dad killdeer fly away while I moved the eggs to a safe distance. Then they poured the driveway and the mom and dad didn't come back. We tried. And finally this morning we gave up and had a nice killdeer egg omelet. Just kidding. We used them in our waffles. Of course all of that was in vane as I did develope some bad animal karma and killed a groundhog the other day with my car. I'm going to hell.
Ghetto life is ok. I don't know what happened to one of the cars, but now they are only "....to Pimp". Must have lost the Ghet- part of the sticker. I knew I was more urban then them. Any Gangsta who is worth anything would take better care of their stuff.
Had a good shit this morning.
I think that is about it. I will try and be better about posting.
Honest.
Screw you.
Craig @ 3:00 PM
...
|
|
|
