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Sunday, September 21, 2003
(*The name in this story has been changed to protect the innocent*)
So C and I were babysitting for a friend's child, 'Bob', while the parent's were busy. Now most people out there think that I can't/hate babysitting. That, for the most part, is not true. We had a good time. We played in the sandbox, walked around, ate some dinner and then sat down to watch a Blue's Clues movie. Then 'Bob' left the living room and went into his bedroom. C went to see what had happened and she was told "Poop." "Do you have to poop now?", she asked innocently. "Poop," was the reply. As the answer slowly crept into her tired brain, she called, "Craig, I need some help in here." As it turns out, 'Bob' had deposited a load of fecal matter about the size of his head into his sweatpants. With precious few options, and a limit on time before dry heaves set in, up he went, off came the pants and into the tub. In case you ever find yourself in this situation, may I recommend a tub that has a showerhead on a hose so that you can take said showerhead and get it up and into every nook and cranny.
With the child clean and dried, it was then up to us to find some new clothes for 'Bob' to wear. Unfortunately, in the time that it took us to look through some dresser drawers, 'Bob' found his pirate hat and treasure map and proceeded to run around naked. Clothes were found, order ensued and everything turned out alright.
So what did we learn from the ordeal? Here's a recap:
1. If a child does not want to watch Blue's Clues, check his pants for a reason why.
2. People say that baby crap is the grossiest kind there is when changing a child. I beg to differ. Find a kid with fecal matter schmeared on every part and we will talk.
3. Under the sink is the best place to look for rubber gloves.
4. C bought me a pirate hat for my birthday.
Speaking of birthday's:
Dear Menards,
Thank you for sending the birthday card. It was a pleasant surprise as it was the first one that I received. The surprise ended with the fact that you sent me the same present as you sent my wife two weeks earlier.
In the future, if you are looking for gift ideas, how about paying one month of bills? Just a suggestion.
Craig G. Moore
Craig @ 2:51 PM
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