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Thursday, October 18, 2007
It's October! So what! Most of you haven't posted anything! Sons of Bitches...
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just the melancholy talking. Why the melancholy? Joey Bishop died. The last remaining Rat Pack figure is gone. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Dean Martin died and I noticed. Frank Sinatra died and I didn't believe C. Maybe because now that time is done. Maybe that's what sucks so much. Really Tony Bennett is the only tie left to that time, and he's starting to look his age (no offense Mr. Bennett if you read this site). A time when you wore a tuxedo to a casino, and a suit on an airplane. A time when men wore fedoras and stood when a lady entered the room. A time when "evolution" meant "on the rocks" and "revolution" meant taking out the olive and putting in an onion. Where lipstick stained cigarette butts danced a never-ending waltz with cherry stems in a smoldering ashtray. I was born at the wrong time.
Inevitably, that brings up the debate. No, not Beatles or Elvis (as Elvis wins every.single.time.) Rather, who was cooler: Frank or Dean. Frank had the mafia, and the hat, and you know he could kick your ass if he wanted too. But Dean had the voice, the laugh, the timing. I would have wanted the power of Frank, but I would have wanted the life of Dean. Dammit. I really was born at the wrong time.
Though I suppose now I have internet pron, so that's something. And while we're on that subject, I took my mom to a website with her new fancy cable internet, you know, just to show her what's out there. She almost had a heart attack. Funny. (not ha-ha funny. more ironic funny). Nothing like being the corrupter of the family.
And while we're on that subject, if I were to (hypothetically) be part of a LLC that owned a strip club (keeping in mind that if I hypothetically did that I would hypothetically give up my youth group minister salary), what would be the best name for said club?
1. Craig Moore's Whores (to the point, but seems a little crass)
2. Casanova's
3. Sheik's - Where it's always ok to see a camel toe
4. Knuckles Deep
It's #2, right?
You know what? Enough judging. 67 days until Christmas and your judging makes Baby Jesus cry. Nice. Real nice.
Craig @ 8:04 PM
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